Why Boyfriends Make You Fat

At the prompting of a friend whose name I will not disclose, I’ve decide to take up the topic of boyfriends and how they make their girlfriends fat.  Ok ok, they don’t “make” us fat, but they certainly create a path lined in gold wrapped candy and stand at the end with a Kudos Bar.  Boys suck! (yes, I’m 12 today apparently).  But really, they just have faster metabolisms and are built to store muscle and not to put on fat for child-rearing purposes like chicks are.  Yes, guys can get fat too as my twin did, but let’s realize that when he put effort into it he lost weight a gazillion times faster than me and while I still count out my stupid calories, he’s eating what he wants and fully svelte while I’m still packin’ some extra cushion. LAME!

But back to boyfriends.  Let’s reflect on a recent Valentine’s Day occurrence.  My sweetheart of a boyfriend got me my favorite See’s candies (you’ve seen them pictured in this blog here) and in an effort to be conscious and supportive of my hard work, he indicated that one-a-day wouldn’t harm me.  I’m sure you can surmise what followed…

One week later

Me: Man, I could use some chocolate…

Boyfriend: Eat some of your See’s candy babe!

Me:  What See’s candy? *giggles*

Boyfriend: I thought you were going to have one a day…

Me: Yea, I thought about that when I was on my third consecutive piece the other day…

But let’s move from me to the general “we” now.  When we have boyfriends, we go out to eat. A LOT. Now you’ve seen my Sumo Watch blog, so we know that some restaurant meals pack on more than a day’s worth of calories, so always be conscious of what you’re eating.  Don’t appropriate vacation mentality to dining out.  In other words, “oh but I hardly go out to eat I’m going to get what I want” phrases are null and void if you go out to eat more than once a week.

Oddly, we’ve heard from Cosmo and other stupid chick magazines that boys prefer chicks who eat burgers at dinner instead of salads because it’s “sexy” to see a girl “that eats.”  B-S if I’ve ever heard it.  Girls, get your salad or your whatever.  Stick to your goals and don’t let Cosmo Magazine featuring a skinny chick on the cover ironically tell you to order a burger to please your dude.  My boyfriend already knows that there are only a few restaurants I will actually eat at.  He knows that I will order whatever fits into my plan for the day.  I am likewise compromising in knowing that if he really wants to eat at BJ’s Restaurant, and I really can’t find anything there worth the calories, I will eat at home before and watch him eat his deep dish of delectable-ness while I sip on water.  We do what we have to do.  And as for the whole time-suck that guys can tend to be — It’s mutual.  Get your workout in even when you have a hot boyfriend waiting to see you. He’ll still be there and he’ll be happy that you’re happy.  Plus I would much prefer to believe that a dude finds it more sexy that a girl has both a strong will and strong physique than that she will eat a burger and fries in front of him.

Hmm what was my point? Oh yea.  Don’t expect your boyfriend to commiserate with you — he probably can’t.  You can always have a vent-fest with me!  We can manage to not pack on the pounds if we stick to our goals and have a plan.  Just beware of See’s candy gifts because even I can’t help you with that one…

Tags: BJ's Restaurant, boyfriends, calories, Cosmo, dining out, fat, goals, metabolism, See's Candy