Dear Vitalicious, You Disappoint Me

Years ago I was telling my older brother how someone had disappointed me.  His response, “You just shouldn’t have expectations.”  Back then, and still today, that response totally bothered me!  Not have expectations?! How in the world do you go through life without expectations? Wouldn’t I be aimless, without a goal, letting people just get away with whatever because they could never disappoint me if I never had expected anything from them?  I think he was just trying to say, “Let it go.”

Maybe he just wanted my life to be filled with less disappointment.  Frankly, I wouldn’t be Miss Cranky Pants if I did that, so that ain’t happening anytime soon!  Which brings me to…

Vitalicious VitaTops

Dear Vitalicious,

This is the face of disappointment found on my twin’s face when he tried one of your Double Chocolate Dream Vitatops:

I echo the sentiment.

I heard about you through Hungry Girl. She ranted and raved about you and I always trust her judgment.  I’ve written about you here before I even tried you — I was just so stoked by your marketing and what everyone was saying about you!  So when you worked with Hungry Girl to develop some 100 calorie Vitatops and then offered free shipping on a “Hungry Girl” pack, I jumped at the chance, whipped out my trembling credit card and put my heart and stomach (and wallet) on the line. Why, why is it then, that I took one bite and felt the sigh of disappointment?  It could be two things:

1. You really do taste like you’re good for me. You don’t taste bad!  But you don’t taste amazing.  I can taste that you’re made with whole wheat as whole wheat does have a particular taste.  Maybe I should get over it.  You are indeed a very healthy alternative that could appease my sweet tooth.

Ok, so at first I microwaved the Fudgy Peanut Butter Chip one and devoured it with some banana:

Then I realized, you are supposed to microwave the muffin while it’s still inside the plastic so that it maintains some of the moisture.  So, like any good blogger would do, I had to try another one, this time the Triple Chocolate Chunk, and this time I microwaved it inside the plastic.  It tasted better.  Still not great.  I don’t really like microwaving foods inside of plastic wrap — it just feels like I might be inhaling chemicals with my food.  Just another cranky tick I have, I suppose.

2.  I’m bitter.  You arrived looking like a box from heaven

OPEN PANDORA’S BOX

But, alas, the VitaMix baking pan did not come with the order and there was no invoice included in the box so I could verify I received everything I was supposed to receive.  That makes me a little cranky.

Initial dissappointment and crankiness aside, here are some really cool things about the Vitamuffins I chose:

1. They are relatively cheap.  $1.33 each.
2. They are indeed only 100 calories and a few of them even have up to 6 grams of fiber each!  That’s awesome!
3. If I could get one of these to appease me when I’m in a “I want to eat mounds of chocolate” mood, this would save my ass from getting any larger.

That said, will I be buying these again?  Unfortunately not.

Newsflash

I am going on a little minivacation with the boyfriend today after work.  I have been kindly ordered not to bring my laptop.  Not bring my laptop?!  That’s like asking Mother Teresa not to bring her compassion with her!  Or asking conjoint twins to separate for a couple days.  C’mon, it’s impossible!  Melodramatic much?  Le sigh.

I should be back to the blog world on Sunday.  Either way, expect some really cool news on Monday.

Tags: Vitalicious, vitatops