The B’s I Love: My Boyfriend & Budding Bicep
It hit me that I often look at my boyfriend as some anomalous creature who can eat whatever he wants and still maintain his physique. I would scowl at him while he ate his Cinnabon and would brush him off if he tried to give me advice — “you’re trying to give me advice?!” I had laughed, dismissing him before he even could. I was thinking last night how this challenge, though it’s been less than a month, has truly made me realize some important things — some of them I didn’t want to realize, but either way, I’m glad I know them now. One thing: While I do not necessarily want to eat the things my boyfriend eats, I want his attitude about food.
What My Boyfriend Taught Me About Healthy Eating (W/o Saying a Word)
- Eat when you are hungry. Seems simple enough but I think most of us know that it really isn’t! Some of us snack mindlessly (guilty!), eat when we are not hungry (guilty!) or when we are full (guilty!). If we simply listen to our body — it talks to us, why don’t we listen?! — it would be so much easier to have a healthy relationship with food.
- Eat what you want. My boyfriend eats what he wants and for this reason he never binges or suffers from angry moods spawn from restrictive eating. The thing is – since he listens to his body, the actual portions of what he eats are so much smaller in comparison to how much I would eat of that same food. If I had a huge slice of cheesecake, I would want to eat it all even if I were not hungry or full.
- Stop eating the second you are full. This boy stops eating the SECOND he feels he might be full. He just drops the fork and exclaims he’s done. As someone who is accustomed to cleaning her plate no matter what, this has always shocked me. “How can you leave that cookie on your plate?! How did you not finish your french fries?!” I’ve asked almost in panic. “I’m full” he says with a shrug.
- Share your food. He’s never hesitant to share his food. You will unceasingly catch him trying to fork me over a tiny sliver of this or that. Why is this important? Because he realizes that food is delicious and it’s not something to be shunned. But that also doesn’t mean you should eat a pound of chocolate cake in one sitting. He will kindly pass me a fork-full of a treat he eats knowing that, in reality, one bite of a treat is really all one needs to get the satisfaction of having it. Plus, sharing food is such a sweet gesture that really reminds me that food is about nourishing mind, body and spirit. It’s not this demon lurking in the corners or a Siren singing you to doom. It’s f-o-o-d.
- Talk while you eat. He loves to chat while he’s eating and this is genius! When I eat it’s like an event and the guest speaker is my food. My boyfriend takes a bite and starts talking (yes, sometimes while still chewing LOL). The fact is — he doesn’t have food on a pedestal. He’s eating because he’s hungry. Food is a way to bring us both to the table, face to face. He relishes his companion at the table (that’s me *cue the awws*), much more than his food. Plus, taking breaks while eating to discuss Aristotle’s Poetics gives his tummy time to say “hey, I think I’m getting full over here!”
So there you have it.
I said in a prior post that I no longer wanted to lose weight, that it was now about being fit and strong. Unfortunately I do continue with a bit of a scale addiction and have watched my weight continue to maintain and even go up here and there. But there’s one thing the scale has not been telling me that I know it means to…
I’m a Bad-Ass
There’s a budding bicep there, promise!
Gotta love how *amazing* it feels to be getting stronger. I can see definition coming into my arms and back. My one cherished chin-up is turning into two and three. I’m holding my planks and L-sits longer.
Being physically stronger makes me feel emotionally stronger. Craziness.
Has anyone in your life taught you a very important lesson without saying a word? Do you have a healthy attitude towards food? How are your budding biceps?
17 People have left comments on this post
lesson’s learned, without some silly diet or rigid rules.
You know, as I was reading the list, I got to the end and said to myself, “well, yeah – duh!” How easy is everything on the list, yet how hard for us to actually follow it?! Funny how we always figure out a way to make the easist things in life the toughest (well, me anyways!)
AND…how cute, that he led by example! Love it!
When I eat it’s like an event and the guest speaker is my food.
That is priceless. I’m with you 100%. lmao.
I think we can learn a lot from how boys eat…even if they eat more fried junk then we would EVER want to put in our body! My bf does have to watch what he eats or he’ll gain weight, but what I admire is he doesn’t beat himself up over it…he accepts the fact that he ate 4 slices of meat-lovers pizza for lunch (!!) and moves on with his life. He doesn’t think about food all the time like I can, and he knows that what he eats doesn’t make him a good or bad person. (I guess this comment answers your question about my relationship with food, haha)
I can see that muscle! I’m learning from people who eat small, healthy meals and feel satisfied. At this stage I’ve got the healthy down, but am still eating too much.
I found your blog through Jen’s blog and have been lurking for a bit but wanted to come out of “hiding” to say that this rings so true to me! My husband is one of those people who has always been tall and skinny, and I have only recently began to realize how differently we approach food. I could say he just eats junk all the time, but honestly, he doesn’t have any of the hang-ups with food that I have and so he just eats when he’s hungry and stops when he’s full, piece of cake! You’ve articulated his mindset so well.
P.S. I feel a special admiration for you because you are getting your master’s and staying healthy. I got my M.A. in English two years ago, and those two years in grad school were a nutritional wasteland for me that I had to crawl out of. Kudos to you for not succumbing to the stress of school by eating poorly and failing to exercise!
My best friend is the same way! One other cool thing that I’ve learned from her is that she was not afraid to try new things. This is something I’m working on!
Working out makes me feel stronger to! I’ve been kicking some major booty at the gym, and I can feel my core getting stronger. It makes me stand up taller, and gives me a boost of confidence!
i feel the exact same way about my guy — he always trys to tell me “just eat what you want and workout.. that’s what normal healthy living it!” and though i roll my eyes and dismiss his words as he’s chowing down on a double cheeseburger.. he’s absolutely right! more often than not i’ve learned that denying ourselves of food often results in a.) starvation or b.) binging… so your boy is completely on point! Perhaps these meatheads know what they’re talking about after all
p.s. you go with those biceps girlie.. should i order my tickets to the gun show online or what?
<3!
Rock on with your sweet biceps!
I don’t really have anyone i’ve learned nutrition or food lessons from, other than WW and a lot of you folks in Blogland
I’m greatful for both!!
Whenever I start to get disappointed (or even mildly depressed) about my progress (or lack of progress) during this challenge, I read your blog. I am all smiles after that.
This is such a terrific post. I look to my children to show me the same lessons! If we all listened to our bodies like your boyfriend did, we would all be healthy eaters.
Love the bicep! I definitely see it!
It’s funny how men’s perception of food varies from womens. It does help to try and think like them!! ONly in this case
HOW FREAKIN CUTE ARE YOU?
love the budding bicep.
the pic AND the alliteration.
My husband definitely has a much healthier attitude towards food. I would still prefer to eat the way I do, over the way he does, but I want to not obsess over food as much.
Those biceps are looking goooood
You look amazing!!!
Gotta love that boyfriend! Sounds like he is a keeper. At the least, being around normal eaters makes it so much easier for us to practice being one, too. And sounds like you’re well on your way, Bella!
So how long can you hold your planks now?
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