Comments on: Big Fat Musings

By: Abby

Abby — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 17:44:52 +0000

I really relate to this post, but for a completely different reason, in that I am underweight and know people remember how I looked when I was healthy. I automatically assume everyone will be disgusted or repulsed to see me now (as I am, at least) and don’t give them enough credit for seeing the “inner” me instead of the outside. While I’m in the process of gaining it back–hopefully–I have to remember that I’m doing it for me, my health, etc. and not so that I can suddenly knock everyone’s socks off with some great transformation.

On either side of the coin, the thoughts are the same. Did they like me before I was this way, or are they only here now because I look “better?” Did/am I keeping myself intentionally unattractive so that I can be sure people like me for me, and not for how I look?

Great insight and great post.

By: Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!

Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink! — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 14:29:00 +0000

What an amazing and thought-provoking post. While I was reading it I thought, “She’s right! How will I know who REALLY loves me once I’m not fat anymore?”
But then, as I continued to read, I thought, “But wait – what do I care?? All that matters is how I feel about myself.”
The trick here is to let go of the thought that everyone is judging you by your looks. Because like you said, if they ARE – you can’t control that. All you can control is how you see and feel about yourself.

By: Ameena

Ameena — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 06:38:39 +0000

What a great post…I always wonder how people see me because I clearly don’t see myself very well. I can completely understand what you are saying!

Honestly? You look awesome. I just saw your before and forevers and you look fabulous!

By: The Merry

The Merry — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:57:44 +0000

The world is an interesting place and I’m just starting to scratch through the surface.

Sounds like you’ve struck gold already
Good post!

By: Bronwyn

Bronwyn — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:37:51 +0000

This is so true.

I can’t say I lost a significant amount of weight, and I have to admit people don’t really behave any differently around me… But the wondering of why I needed to lose weight and the emotional journey behind it really mesh. Sometimes I fear I’m merely trying to conform to some weird thin ideal set up by some arbitrary people, who decided thin was in. But at the same time where I am now I know I eat healthy and I exercise for me alone. Part of that intrinsic motivation is totally shallow; I do not want to be fat and “ugly” but are the two the same?
I still sometimes catch myself “compensating”; well I’m not a size 2, so I shouldn’t wear that… I’ll look good in that darker colour. I should wear more make up because… It’s nice but… There are too many BUTs and BECAUSEs. The thing I know is, there are nasty people out there who’ll say anyone looks fat in that dress, wears too much make up, not enough make up, etc. and that person could be 280 or 130, so it really is out of your control.

By: The Brunette

The Brunette — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:43:29 +0000

It’s true that weight loss is a very emotionally taxing thing. But even more true, like you say, is the fact that once you’ve lost the weight, you sort of have to figure out something else to focus your attention on. In my experience, after losing a little bit of weight, I found myself not only unsure of my own ability to ‘maintain,’ but also feeling a certain sense of disappointment that there was no longer anything to look forward to. Twisted? Probably a little. But it is true, I think, that after reaching the goal, it is hard not to feel somewhat goalless, even if this is not at ALL true in other areas of my life.

By: Betty

Betty — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:57:37 +0000

Great post. When I reached my goal about 2 years ago I noticed that people were a little different around me. They would make comments that would sometimes make me feel bad. I kind of needed to prove to myself and others that I was still the same person…just making better choices..health wise. It’s a very emotional journey.

By: Amanda, another priorfatgirl

Amanda, another priorfatgirl — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:52:35 +0000

I’ve thought this very same thing before: “I’ve realized how sick and trivializing it is to think that people who loved me when I was heaviest must have truly loved me.” Then I shake myself and tell myself that’s not the way to think. And then I think it again probable not too many days later.

I love your insights.

By: Mishy

Mishy — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:44:36 +0000

very interesting and rather insightful. i’m about 10 lbs away from my goal and when i get there, what comes next? i’m still me, but a smaller me. will a parade be thrown in my honor for reaching that goal? no. it will just be another day, with hopefully a lifetime of maintenance.

By: Heather (Heather's Dish)

Heather (Heather's Dish) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:09:38 +0000

this is a very interesting post…i never really thought about it this way, but you’re totally right. it’s quite the conundrum to figure out how to lose weight, not lose yourself, but the accept the new you and see people’s reactions to all of that. very thought-provoking…