Guest Post: Nadia & Her Weight-Loss Mission

Hey guys! Please welcome Nadia’s eighth guest post detailing her progress with her weight-loss mission to lose 25 pounds and take over the world! Did a break-up get the best of her? Did she turn to pints and pints of booze and ice cream, curse exercise and refuse to get out of bed? Read and find out!
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Breaking up is hard to do.

This week, my short-lived run with my improv group fell apart due to scheduling issues. Whether or not it will resurface seems unlikely. And so, I did what most people do when they’re going through a breakup: I got drunk and ate a lot of sugar.

By doing these activities in copious amounts for a couple of days, I potentially wrecked my diet plan for good. Through the power of metabolism, I’ve somehow managed to weigh-in at the same, despite eating more and exercising way less. That’s the only thing I can think of! Unless, of course, my not-eating-meat theory is proving itself correct a second week in a row. Could it be so?

In any event, this detour did fuck up one thing: my money-saving plan. Yes, going out to restaurants because you don’t feel like cooking really does put a dent in your wallet! I spent well over my $75 limit, I’m ashamed to say. And this is coming from someone currently signing up for unemployment! Le sigh.

Perhaps all of this is a sign. Maybe I am meant to do other things with my life at this moment than get on stage and perform, like focus on my writing – and eating healthy and losing weight! Or maybe this is the sign that says I need to get off my chubby (not fat) ass and look for a new job. I’m not sure what it means, but like any good breakup, it does lead to this sense of, “who cares? I can take over the world!” [That's better than the Woe-Is-Me-I'm-Never-Going-to-Get-Out-of-Bed-&-Just-Want-to-Eat-Bon-Bons mode that most people get in break-up situations he-he <3, Cranky]

Does anyone remember that scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary when she throws out all the books on how to get men, and replaces them with self-help books on how to be a better you? I hate that shit. I hate self-improvement books like that because I believe that every person is different and grew up under different circumstances, and to say that this one rule or set of ideas is applicable to everyone is just phony. However, there is something to cleaning out an area of your life and starting over. In the spirit of The Cranky One, I’ll use the refrigerator as an analogy. If your life is stressed or you’re suffering from a crisis, you’re likely to stock up on foods that allow you to continue living that life: fatty snacks, ice cream, frozen foods, etc. Once you accept that something has happened and you make plans to move on, you can throw out all that food baggage and replace it with healthier foods, such as fruits and vegetables, nuts, lean protein, and so on.

[photo cred]

What’s your food baggage? Do you think you can get rid of it so easily, or are you still holding onto that Chunky Monkey for a reason?

Best Meal:

Ana and Nia’s Veggie Bake: Remember that veggie bake I mentioned a couple of weeks ago? I made it again for myself – and boy howdy, it’s still delicious!

Worst Meal:

Pretty Much Everything Else I Ate: I was not good this week. I was not so horrifying that I ate fast food and cookies everyday, but I did knock back a few too many, eat a few too many sugary treats, and ate a little too much pizza.

Food I Didn’t Realize Would Be Bad:

Ralph’s Soup: Now, this is bad for several reasons. For starters, the soups coming from the grocery store are laden with sodium, even if they’re a lower-fat option like Chicken Tortilla. Second, grocery stores do not usually invest in finding out the nutritional information of their product, as hiring scientists to do so is extremely costly. And thirdly – and most importantly – I burned my freaking hand pouring it into the cup. The soup fell, I felt a burning sensation, and then – PAIN! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PAIN! A kind gay dude alerted the staff, who set me up with some Neosporin for the burn. The best part was when the acting manager asked, with complete seriousness, whether I would want to file an accident report, “in case you want to sue us or something.”

How I Worked Out:

Not much. Swimming a little, but no new fun places or workout routines.

What Did We Learn?:

There’s nothing I can do, it’s a total eclipse of the heart.

Just kidding. When you’re down, let yourself be down. Then get back up on the horse and ride it into the sunset where you and that horse belong! [The Cranky One pictures scenes from the movie Gentlemen Broncos...]

This Week’s Goal:

Let’s go back to the “diet” part of dieting. This week, the goal is to increase the fruits and vegetables count by…one. Yes, one! So that brings me up to a grand total of three servings a day! I realize that as I type this, that sounds incredibly, stupefyingly lame. But remember, you’re talking to a girl with some bad habits she’s got to break. So three a day it is!

Start Weight According to Crappy Target Scale: 140.8

End Weight According to Crappy Target Scale: 140.8

Ask me and Ana questions on Twitter at @nahdeeeyah and at @feedmeimcranky1!

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Sorry to hear about your “break-up,” Nia — but on the bright side, life IS all about that metaphoric refrigerator and you’re right — it’s time to empty it out and fill it with things that are going to nourish you. Hate to sound like a cornball, but it’s true! So, glad you dusted yourself and are getting back on the horse. Also, I’m stoked you’ve maintained your weight-loss despite your days of drunken glory (my body is much more rebellious and would have held onto to each ounce of beer like Snookie does self-tanner).  In the meanwhile, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that you find another improv group soon. ‘Til then, I’d be happy to make an ass of myself for your amusement. As always

To see Nadia’s first update, click here; her second, click here; her third, click here; her fourth, click here ; her fifth, click here; her sixth, click here; and/or her seventh, click here.

How do you guys cope when shit hits the fan? Do  you turn to the Chunky Monkey or does your healthy lifestyle stay in tact?

<3,

The Cranky One