When You Want to Freak Out

I’m really trying not to freak out.

But I’m totally freaking out. Why?….

Bitch stole my voice!

Ok, ok. While I’d prefer to blame this issue of my voice on an anthropomorphic maniacal purple squid, the truth of the matter is…it’s mostly, but not all, my fault.

I’ve got a minor case of laryngitis caused by allergies and mis- and over-use of my vocal cords. Cry.me.a.freaking.river. No really, feel sorry for me because I sure do!

Here’s the thing – for the past month, I’ve known there’s been something a little off with my voice. At band practice I can typically belt my little heart out for hours on end. But more recently, I noticed that I was very quickly encountering what felt like blocking – like I’d get to that note I was going to belt and could feel resistance. But I figured it was a cold or something. Hoped, actually. So, I sang through it. But, then I could feel a pressure in my voice even when talking — like it was tiring to my cords simply to speak. That freaked me the hell out.

But, I kinda just had to postpone the freak out because I didn’t have time to freak out. I knew I had a trip to New Mexico to lay down tracks for our forthcoming EP and I was going to sing come hell or…hell. So, I looked up some of my symptoms online (genius, right? lol), and decided I’d just drink as much water as possible to keep the vocal cords happy, take some Ricola, drink decaf tea with lemon, and keep all limbs crossed for luck.

It sort of worked. I could feel the pressure in my voice the whole trip, but when it came to laying down the vocals, everything sounded fine and normal, even though it felt uncomfortable.

The whole trip, however, there was one little nagging thought…what the hell are you going to do on Feb. 3rd?! It’s one thing to sing behind a mic in a recording studio. If your voice hurts, you take a break and drink some water. When you’re on stage and set to perform for an hour, it’s a totally different story! If you miss a note, you can’t be like, “oh hold up, let’s try that again” like you can in the studio. D’oh!

To quote Cher from Clueless, “I [feel] impotent and out of control. Which I really, really hate.”

So, I saw a specialist who I found via google (I know, I know, this post is really showcasing my smarts). He sprayed some crap into the back of my throat to numb my tongue that left my throat sore for two freakin’ days. He said I had a mild case of laryngitis from allergies and misuse of the cords, prescribed some steroid stuff and some allergy stuff, but both of those relieve the symptoms and not the cause. What’s the true remedy? Don’t sing for a while. D’oh!

So, I’ve bought a humidifier, got my meds, got a personal steam inhaler with special eucalyptus oil, I’ve been drinking enough water to satiate an army in the Mojave and I’m pretty much just trying not to freak out. Cuz, freak out or not, this Cranky One is getting on stage in four days and praying when I open my mouth to sing you don’t see this…
[mad props to SlamBoy]

After Feb. 3rd? No singing and I’m definitely seeing a vocal coach, cuz I’ve been singing like a crazy fire hose for too long, it’s time to rein it in before I burst beyond repair!

<3,

The Cranky One