The Toys & The After-Bask

I freaked out. I know that’s not surprising (heh), but at work yesterday, I could feel my vocal cords tensing up after each tutoring session. Anticipating that the tension would equate into “frog-throat” at my performance with The Antique Toys later that night, I was on the verge of a panic attack. A friend who I tutor with asked me, “do you meditate?” I considered making a snarky comment, but simply said, “no.” Her response, “Now’d be a good time to try.”

As I sat there and laid out my options: 1) panic, or 2) meditate, the latter certainly seemed more promising. So, my friend suggested that I practice a visualization exercise or a writing exercise. She asked that I write down the things that I want to happen, but in a way that’s willing them to happen. Feeling my heart lunging into my throat, I didn’t waste a second.

Tonight, my vocal cords are healed. I will be able to stand in front of the crowd and hit each note as I always have. My vocal cords are strong and capable. I am strong and capable. I will love being on stage with my band brothers and seeing my boyfriend, friends and family there to support me. I will smile and enjoy the moment. I will feel beautiful, and radiate happiness. I will embrace this opportunity and love each song for being the product of my band’s and my own love for music and each other.

When I got home from work and my voice ached. When the blow-dryer broke. When I ran out of Ricola. When the shoes I planned to wear suddenly felt awkward and uncomfortable…I envisioned those words I had written. It helped that my boyfriend, the voice of calm and reason, offered his supportive aura (and another blow-dryer).

When I got onto stage (with mugs of hot tea and water), I could only hope that my voice wouldn’t defy me, escape me or simply refuse to show herself.

Thank the heavens, the visualization exercise, and/or the pound of Halls and Ricola I consumed, but my voice showed herself. She was a little miffed here and there, but overall, she seemed to enjoy baring her soul.

There is a high I get from performing that is unparalleled and I’m still feeling the tingle of adrenaline and pure joy as it courses through me. I am so inspired by the friends and family that made it despite traffic, full-time jobs and babies. Viento y Agua is a beautiful venue and the ambiance was warm and encouraging. Thankful doesn’t seem an adequate word to describe the feeling.

The Toys and I are happy to announce our site is re-vamped - it’s not 100% done, but it’s getting there thanks to Charley the master-mind. Our blog? We just started it and we’re stoked to keep track of our musical journey. We’ve also released a preview snippet of a track on our forthcoming EP…see here

Also making its debut last night? This awesome merchandise hand painted by my bandmate’s wife. Aren’t they amazing?

As I finally sat in bed last night for a dinner at 10:30 p.m, little Kahlua winding down with me, I ate some of my favorite Ezekiel bread and enjoyed some of this amazing Pure Dark Bar. Holy taste-bud-sensation. We all know I’ve had issues with indulging in sweets, but, last night, I was totally zen and knew sometimes life is just so sweet, you want to taste it. I tasted it.

I’m still tasting it.

<3,

The Cranky One