As you know, I’m overweight.
And I spend a lot of time on this blog telling you guys that weight is not a good proxy for health.
Though, if we’re talking statistics, being overweight is actually correlated to lessened mortality when compared to “normal weight,” “class 2+ obese” and “underweight,” per the BMI. But, as I’ve stated here before, I’m less interested in statistics (I take Mark Twain’s approach of “lies, damned lies & statistics”), and more interested in fat, and its medicalized version, obesity, from a sociopolitical perspective.
As you also may know, I believe our collective obsession with weight and body size is insidious and detrimental to our health.
I tell you all that we are so much MORE than what we weigh and what size we wear.
I believe this down to my very core.
But I struggle to align my beliefs with, well, my other beliefs, ingrained into my subconscious from years of dieting and being told (and believing) that my size defined my worth.
I went to a luncheon today where we discussed empowering children by teaching them how to cook their own meals. While sitting there, I wondered if my passion for nutrition is as strong as my growing passion to encourage children to love the body they’re in. Perhaps they go hand in hand?
Perhaps it’s one of those things where I hope that if I can teach it, I may teach myself, too.
When I came home today, there was a gift waiting for me on the dining room table. A pair of shorts and top from my boyfriend. He knows that while I do love my body, I have been resistant to buying larger-sized clothes. I also remain resistant to buying clothes in general (thrift store bargains are where it’s at in my book). He reminds me that I am not going to be the stick figure I used to be (though I never saw myself as slim) because I am a power-lifter now and power-lifters have butts and thighs that can lift their own body weight and more.
I held up the tiny size 9 junior shorts and sighed knowing they would no longer fit this power-lifting butt. They didn’t. I told him in my typical whiny voice, “they don’t fit.” And he said, “well, we all go through stages when we’re lighter and not so much. I have clothes in varying sizes for this very reason. You can keep these and we’ll get a bigger size too. You say you believe in ‘Health At Every Size’? It’s time for Clothes At Every Size.”
He is the embodiment of zen and I learn so much from him.
I had a dream a few days ago that I went to the doctor and he found an ear infection. From inside my ear he pulled wing after wing of butterflies.
I like to think that I am becoming a butterfly. I used to think that my transformation from fat to thin was what defined my beauty and now I see that it’s this moment that my beauty arises from my ability to embody and emanate self-love.
So, I will shelve the little booty shorts and embrace my bootyliciousness. I hope you embrace whatever state your booty (etc) is in, too.
The Cranky One